Blog

  • Living for Yourself: Why It’s Never Too Late to Prioritize You

    Living for Yourself: Why It’s Never Too Late to Prioritize You

    The alarm buzzes. The day begins. You shuffle through the routines of work, family obligations, and the relentless grind of life. Somewhere along the way, you’ve likely put yourself on the back burner, prioritizing everyone else’s needs above your own. Sound familiar? It’s a story as old as time, especially for women who have been conditioned to play the caretaker, peacekeeper, and problem solver. But here’s the truth: it’s never too late to start living for yourself.

    Maybe you’re in your 40s or 50s, wondering if you missed the boat on chasing that dream or reclaiming your own happiness. Or perhaps you’ve bought into the myth that prioritizing yourself is selfish. Let’s set the record straight: living for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. If you’re not at your best, how can you possibly give your best to others? Here’s how and why you can—and should—start prioritizing yourself, no matter where you are in life.

    (more…)
  • No More Excuses: How to Own Your Choices Without Apology

    No More Excuses: How to Own Your Choices Without Apology

    Life is a series of choices—big and small—that shape who we are and where we go. Yet, for many of us, the fear of judgment or the pressure to conform can lead us to second-guess our decisions or feel the need to explain them away. The result? A life filled with excuses, apologies, and compromises that chip away at our authenticity.

    It’s time to stop.

    Owning your choices without apology is a liberating act of self-respect and empowerment. It’s about standing tall in your decisions, understanding your values, and letting go of the need for external validation. This isn’t just about confidence; it’s about reclaiming your life.

    Here’s how you can stop making excuses, embrace your choices, and live unapologetically.


    1. Understanding Why We Make Excuses

    Excuses often come from fear—fear of failure, rejection, or being judged. They’re a way to protect ourselves from discomfort by deflecting responsibility or softening the impact of our choices.

    But making excuses keeps us stuck. It sends a message to ourselves (and others) that we’re unsure, uncommitted, or not in control of our lives.

    Ask Yourself:

    • What am I afraid of?
    • Who am I trying to please with this excuse?
    • Is this excuse helping or holding me back?

    Recognizing the root of your excuses is the first step toward breaking free from them.


    2. The Power of Owning Your Choices

    Owning your choices doesn’t mean being inflexible or ignoring feedback. It means accepting responsibility for your decisions and standing by them with clarity and confidence.

    When you own your choices, you:

    • Show others that you trust yourself.
    • Build a stronger sense of self-worth.
    • Free yourself from the emotional baggage of regret or doubt.

    This doesn’t just benefit you; it inspires those around you to step into their power, too.


    3. Stop Saying “I’m Sorry” for Things You’re Not Sorry For

    Women, in particular, are socialized to over-apologize. We say “I’m sorry” for everything—from declining an invitation to expressing an opinion.

    While apologies are valuable when we’ve hurt someone or made a mistake, unnecessary apologies diminish our confidence and reinforce a sense of guilt.

    Practice This Instead:

    • Replace “I’m sorry” with “Thank you” when appropriate. For example:
    • Instead of “Sorry I’m late,” say, “Thank you for waiting.”
    • Instead of “I’m sorry for asking,” say, “Thank you for your time.”
    • Take a pause before apologizing. Ask yourself: Am I actually at fault?

    4. Set Boundaries That Reflect Your Values

    Owning your choices often requires setting boundaries. Boundaries are about protecting your energy, time, and values—not about pushing others away.

    When you set boundaries, you:

    • Show respect for yourself and others.
    • Reduce resentment and burnout.
    • Create space for what truly matters to you.

    How to Set Boundaries Without Apology:

    • Be clear and direct. (“I’m unable to take on extra work this week.”)
    • Use “I” statements. (“I need time to recharge this weekend.”)
    • Stick to your decision without overexplaining.

    5. Embrace the “No” Without Guilt

    “No” is a complete sentence, but many of us struggle to say it without feeling guilty. We worry about letting others down or appearing selfish.

    The truth is, saying “no” is one of the most empowering ways to own your choices. It creates space for you to focus on what aligns with your priorities and values.

    How to Say “No” Confidently:

    • Be polite but firm. (“Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t commit to that.”)
    • Avoid overexplaining. (“No, I’m unable to attend.” Full stop.)
    • Remember your “why.” Saying “no” to something that doesn’t serve you means saying “yes” to something that does.

    6. Let Go of the Need for Approval

    One of the biggest barriers to owning your choices is the desire for external validation. We want others to understand, agree with, or approve of our decisions.

    But seeking approval often leads to compromising our values or making choices that aren’t authentic to us.

    How to Let Go of Approval-Seeking:

    • Accept that not everyone will agree with your choices—and that’s okay.
    • Focus on your values and goals rather than others’ opinions.
    • Surround yourself with people who respect and support your decisions.

    7. Practice Self-Compassion

    Owning your choices doesn’t mean you’ll never make mistakes. You will. But mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow, not reasons to beat yourself up.

    Self-compassion helps you navigate life’s challenges with grace and resilience.

    How to Cultivate Self-Compassion:

    • Treat yourself as you would a close friend.
    • Replace self-criticism with constructive reflection.
    • Celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

    8. Reframe Failure as Feedback

    Fear of failure often drives excuses and hesitation. But failure is not the opposite of success—it’s part of the journey.

    When you reframe failure as feedback, you remove its power to define you. Instead, it becomes a tool for growth.

    Ask Yourself After a Failure:

    • What worked, and what didn’t?
    • What can I do differently next time?
    • How has this experience made me stronger?

    9. Find Strength in Your Story

    Your life is uniquely yours, shaped by your experiences, choices, and challenges. Owning your story—without apology—is one of the most empowering things you can do.

    When you stop making excuses for your choices and start embracing your path, you’ll find freedom and confidence like never before.


    10. Create a Personal Mantra for Ownership

    A mantra is a powerful tool for reinforcing your mindset and intentions. Create one that reflects your commitment to owning your choices.

    Examples:

    • “I trust myself and my decisions.”
    • “My life, my rules.”
    • “I owe no one an explanation for being true to myself.”

    Repeat your mantra daily to remind yourself of your strength and purpose.


    No More Excuses: Start Today

    Living unapologetically doesn’t mean being inflexible or dismissive of others—it means being true to yourself. It’s about making choices aligned with your values, embracing the consequences, and moving forward with confidence.

    You have the power to stop making excuses, own your choices, and live life on your terms. The question is: Will you take it?


    Your Turn

    What’s one choice you’ve been hesitant to own? Share it in the comments and let’s support each other in living unapologetically.

    Stay bold,
    Jennifer

    Boundary Setting Worksheet


    Ready to Take Control of Your Peace?





    Sign up for our newsletter and get instant access to our Boundary Setting Worksheet—completely free! 🎉





    This powerful tool will help you identify what’s draining your energy, set clear boundaries, and say no with confidence. Plus, you’ll be the first to know about more empowering resources and updates from Defiantly Her.





    📥 Download the worksheet now by joining our community! 💌


    Free Download

    Send download link to:

  • How Growing Up Gen X Taught Us Resilience

    How Growing Up Gen X Taught Us Resilience

    Resilience. It’s not just a trendy concept for Gen X; it’s our unofficial superpower. Born between the Baby Boomers and Millennials, we were the bridge generation that grew up without safety nets or spotlights, navigating a rapidly changing world on our own terms.

    From latchkey afternoons to navigating analog childhoods and witnessing the dawn of the digital age, Gen X was built to endure. Here’s how growing up during our unique era taught us resilience—and why those lessons still resonate today.


    1. The Latchkey Kid Experience: Learning Independence Early

    For many of us, the “latchkey kid” life was a rite of passage. With both parents working or single parents doing their best, we were handed a house key and a crash course in self-sufficiency. Alone with an after-school snack and a TV, we learned how to entertain ourselves, navigate challenges, and solve problems—all without adult supervision.

    It wasn’t just about survival; it was about figuring out who we were in the quiet spaces. From learning how to make a decent grilled cheese to handling emergencies like a power outage, we honed practical life skills early on. That sense of independence shaped our confidence and taught us how to trust our abilities.


    2. Surviving the Analog Era: Resourcefulness Was Mandatory

    Growing up without Google, GPS, or smartphones made us masters of resourcefulness. Need to write a school report? You’d trek to the library and flip through encyclopedias. Lost in a new area? You’d unfold a map and hope for the best.

    Our downtime wasn’t filled with endless entertainment on demand. We had to be creative with what we had: building forts, recording mix tapes, or inventing games out of boredom. This resourcefulness wasn’t just a childhood quirk—it became a lifelong skill, making us adept at handling challenges and finding solutions.


    3. Adapting to Rapid Technological Change

    Gen X is the only generation that grew up in an analog world and seamlessly transitioned into the digital one. From rotary phones to smartphones, floppy disks to cloud storage, and video rental stores to streaming platforms, we witnessed the world change at a breathtaking pace.

    This constant evolution didn’t just teach us how to adapt—it made adaptation second nature. We weren’t intimidated by change; we embraced it because we had no choice. As adults, this ability to pivot has helped us stay relevant in careers, relationships, and technology.


    4. The DIY Generation: Solving Problems With Our Own Two Hands

    If something broke, you didn’t throw it away or call someone—you fixed it. Whether it was rewinding a cassette tape with a pencil, tinkering with the VCR to stop the blinking 12:00, or sewing patches onto ripped jeans, Gen X cultivated a do-it-yourself ethos.

    This wasn’t just about saving money; it was about figuring things out and taking pride in our resourcefulness. That problem-solving mindset has carried over into adulthood, helping us tackle everything from home repairs to unexpected life challenges.


    5. Navigating the “Weird” Parenting Gap

    Gen X was raised in a parenting paradox. On one hand, we had unprecedented freedom; on the other, there were strict rules about respect and responsibility. This mix taught us how to balance independence with accountability—a skill that’s served us well in relationships, careers, and raising families of our own.

    We weren’t coddled, but we were loved in our parents’ unique, hands-off way. This upbringing gave us grit, but it also taught us how to care for ourselves emotionally when others weren’t always there to do it for us.


    6. Balancing Cynicism With Hope

    We came of age in a world grappling with economic downturns, political scandals, and environmental crises. As kids, we learned to be skeptical of authority and systems that didn’t always have our best interests at heart.

    But while we carried a healthy dose of cynicism, we also cultivated hope. We learned how to find joy in small victories, how to laugh even when things felt heavy, and how to hold on to the belief that better days were possible. This balance has kept us grounded and forward-thinking as adults.


    7. Using Humor as a Coping Mechanism

    Gen X mastered the art of dark, sarcastic humor as a survival tool. Whether it was quoting The Breakfast Club, rolling our eyes at the absurdity of life, or finding catharsis in grunge lyrics, we turned to humor to cope with the chaos around us.

    Laughter wasn’t just entertainment; it was resilience in action. It helped us process hard times, connect with others, and keep moving forward.


    8. Learning to Thrive in the Shadows

    Unlike the Boomers, who were front and center during societal revolutions, or Millennials, who’ve been spotlighted for their tech-savvy and activism, Gen X was often overlooked. And honestly? We didn’t mind.

    Flying under the radar taught us how to be self-reliant, work hard without constant validation, and quietly lead from the background. This unassuming strength has made us resilient leaders, partners, and innovators in adulthood.


    9. Resilience Through Connection

    Although we were fiercely independent, we also knew the value of connection. Gen X grew up in a world of handwritten letters, shared landlines, and in-person friendships. We learned how to nurture relationships without the convenience of technology, making those bonds deeply meaningful.

    As adults, this focus on authentic connection helps us build strong communities and support networks, another hallmark of resilience.


    Why These Lessons Matter Today

    Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back from adversity; it’s about growing stronger because of it. For Gen X, the challenges we faced growing up prepared us to tackle life with grit, humor, and hope.

    Whether it’s adapting to a rapidly changing world, navigating relationships, or finding joy in the small things, our generation has shown time and again that resilience isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build.


    Your Turn

    What’s a moment from your Gen X childhood that shaped your resilience? Share it in the comments—I’d love to hear your stories!

    Remember: Resilience isn’t just about surviving; it’s about thriving in spite of the challenges. And no one does that better than Gen X.

    Stay strong,
    Jennifer

  • Starting a Business After 40: Lessons From Women Who Did It

    Starting a Business After 40: Lessons From Women Who Did It

    Starting a business at 40 isn’t just possible—it’s your unfair advantage. You’ve spent decades gaining skills, surviving setbacks, and figuring out what actually matters. Now? It’s time to use that wisdom to build something that’s yours. For women, especially those balancing careers, families, and life’s curveballs, entrepreneurship in midlife often stems from a deep sense of purpose and a wealth of experience.

    The good news? Many women have successfully launched businesses later in life, proving it’s never too late to follow your dreams. Here’s a look at their stories and the lessons they’ve learned along the way.

    (more…)
  • Stop Apologizing: How to Ditch the Habit of Over-Explaining

    Stop Apologizing: How to Ditch the Habit of Over-Explaining

    When was the last time you apologized for existing? For asking a question, speaking up, or taking up space? If you’re like most women, it was probably this morning. Worse yet, did you feel the need to explain yourself after apologizing? It’s okay; we’ve all been there. But let me tell you—it’s time to stop.

    Why Do We Over-Apologize and Over-Explain?

    As Gen X women, many of us grew up in an era where we were taught to be polite, accommodating, and non-confrontational. We internalized the idea that our worth was tied to how “nice” or “agreeable” we were. While politeness has its place, constantly apologizing and over-explaining diminishes your power, undermines your confidence, and frankly, wastes everyone’s time.

    Every unnecessary apology sends a message: “I don’t deserve to take up space.” You might think you’re just being polite—but what you’re really doing is shrinking yourself for other people’s comfort. Over time, this habit chips away at your self-worth.

    (more…)
  • Letting Go for the New Year: How to Release the Past and Move Forward

    Letting Go for the New Year: How to Release the Past and Move Forward

    The New Year is coming, and with it, all the pressure to be a new, improved version of yourself. But here’s the real truth: you don’t need a reinvention—you need a release. Before you can step into something better, you’ve got to drop the baggage weighing you down. That old baggage? The guilt, the bad habits, the people who drain you? Dead weight. Drop it, or let it drag you down.

    Letting go isn’t just courageous—it’s necessary. Carrying old baggage into the New Year? Not an option. It’s a declaration that you deserve to live freely, unburdened by regrets, fears, or outdated beliefs. Here’s your guide to shedding the weight of the past and stepping boldly into the New Year.

    (more…)
  • 5 Morning Habits to Start Your Day on Your Terms — Even If You Only Have One Hour

    5 Morning Habits to Start Your Day on Your Terms — Even If You Only Have One Hour

    We hear it all the time: A good morning routine sets the tone for the day. But what if you only have an hour? The truth is, you don’t need endless free time to start your day with intention. With a little planning and a focus on what matters most, you can create a streamlined routine that energizes, centers, and prepares you—without the overwhelm.

    The secret isn’t about doing more; it’s about choosing the right habits, making them efficient, and focusing on what matters most to you. In that single hour, you can create a mini-routine that leaves you centered, supported, and more in charge of your day. Here are five powerful habits, each one pared down to fit inside a tight 60-minute window.

    (more…)
  • How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Like a Villain

    How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Like a Villain

    Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt like the Wicked Witch of the West just for saying no. Spoiler alert: You’re not the villain—you’re just setting boundaries. And if you’re a Gen X woman, chances are you were trained to feel guilty about it.

    Gen X grew up in the gray area between old-school duty and modern independence. We were taught to be resilient, but also to keep the peace. So we learned to do it all—without asking for help, without rocking the boat, and definitely without saying no. Now, as adults, we’re unlearning all of that, one awkward conversation at a time.

    Here’s your no-BS guide to setting boundaries that protect your peace without turning you into the office villain, the friend group grinch, or the family outcast.

    (more…)
  • Reclaiming Your Time: A Gen X Woman’s Guide to Saying ‘No’

    Reclaiming Your Time: A Gen X Woman’s Guide to Saying ‘No’

    For too long, women have been expected to carry the emotional, professional, and domestic loads with a smile. We were raised to believe we could, and should, do it all. We entered the workforce during a time of powerful cultural shifts, often feeling caught between the traditional expectations of our parents’ generation and the feminist strides of the Baby Boomers before us. Many of us became masters of multitasking—juggling careers, children, aging parents, community obligations, friendships, and romantic relationships—while taking on the heavy, invisible labor of emotional support. The result? Overwhelm, burnout, and a simmering resentment that we rarely dare to voice.

    (more…)
  • Redefining the Holidays: How to Celebrate Christmas Your Way

    Redefining the Holidays: How to Celebrate Christmas Your Way

    Does the holiday season make you feel like you’re stuck in a Hallmark movie you never auditioned for? The pressure to create the ‘perfect Christmas’—flawlessly decorated trees, endless gift lists, and tension-filled family gatherings—can turn what’s supposed to be a joyful time into an exhausting obligation.

    But what if you could do it differently this year?

    (more…)