Category: Zero Tolerance Zone

Calling BS on Hustle Culture: Why Rest Is Revolutionary

Let’s start with a hard truth: Hustle culture is a trap.
You know the drill—wake up at 5 a.m., crush a workout, journal your affirmations, launch a side hustle, dominate your day job, eat “clean,” make a perfect dinner, and somehow still find time to be the world’s best parent, partner, and friend.
It’s exhausting just thinking about it.
Yet, hustle culture sells this insanity as the only path to success. It glorifies the grind and vilifies rest, leaving us caught in a vicious cycle of burnout and self-doubt. But let’s be honest: Who really benefits from all this hustling? Spoiler alert—it’s not us.
A Brief History of the Grind
The worship of busyness isn’t new. The idea of tying your worth to productivity can be traced back to the Industrial Revolution, when factories needed workers who could churn out maximum output with minimal breaks. Enter the 40-hour workweek and the Protestant work ethic: work hard, keep your head down, and your reward will come (spoiler: it didn’t).
Fast forward to the gig economy, where the mantra “do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life” evolved into “monetize everything you love until you hate it.” Social media has only made it worse. Your hobbies? Not good enough unless they’re profitable. Your free time? Why aren’t you building your brand?
Hustle culture has turned us into machines, equating our worth with how much we can achieve, all while making billionaires even richer.
Why Women Feel the Pressure Most
Hustle culture doesn’t just ask women to do it all—it demands it. We’re supposed to be career bosses, perfect mothers, supportive partners, Pinterest-level homemakers, and forever youthful Instagram queens. Oh, and let’s not forget the “self-care” industrial complex that tells us to meditate, hydrate, and manifest our way to success.
It’s an impossible standard, and it’s no coincidence. Capitalism thrives on making us feel inadequate. When we’re convinced we’re not enough, we buy more—products, courses, coaching—anything to close the gap.
For women, especially women of color, the stakes are even higher. The gender pay gap and systemic inequities mean we often have to hustle harder just to get a seat at the table. It’s not a fair game, and the deck is stacked against us.
Rest as an Act of Resistance
Here’s the revolutionary truth: Rest is not laziness. It’s an act of defiance.
Choosing rest in a world that glorifies the grind sends a powerful message: I am not my productivity. My value isn’t tied to how much I can achieve.
This idea isn’t new. Civil rights activist Audre Lorde famously said,
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
Rest is how we protect ourselves from a system that thrives on exploitation.
Why Rest Matters (Science Edition)
Still not convinced? Let’s talk science. Rest isn’t just nice to have—it’s essential for your health and well-being. Here’s what happens when you prioritize rest:
1. Better Brain Function: Rest improves memory, creativity, and decision-making. Ever noticed how your best ideas come when you’re not actively working? That’s your brain on rest.
2. Stress Reduction: Chronic stress leads to burnout, illness, and fatigue. Rest lowers cortisol levels, helping your body and mind recover.
3. Improved Physical Health: Sleep and downtime are critical for a healthy immune system. Skimp on rest, and you’re more likely to get sick.
4. Emotional Resilience: Rest helps regulate emotions, making you better equipped to handle life’s challenges.
Bottom line? Rest isn’t optional—it’s survival.
How Hustle Culture Tricks You
Hustle culture is sneaky. It doesn’t outright tell you to sacrifice your health and happiness. Instead, it dangles shiny promises in front of you: financial freedom, personal fulfillment, a dream life just one more grind session away.
But here’s the thing: The goalposts keep moving. No matter how much you achieve, it’s never enough. The hustle hamster wheel is designed to keep you running, not winning.
Redefining Success
So, how do we escape this toxic cycle? By redefining what success looks like. Success isn’t about how busy you are or how many side hustles you’re juggling. It’s about living a life that feels good to you—not your boss, not your social media followers, and definitely not the self-help gurus trying to sell you their latest book.
Here are some ways to redefine success on your terms:
1. Focus on Fulfillment: What makes you happy? Not what should make you happy—what actually does? Start there.
2. Set Boundaries: Protect your time and energy fiercely. Say no to things that drain you.
3. Prioritize Relationships: Connection matters more than accomplishments. Spend time with people who make you feel alive.
4. Celebrate Rest: Treat rest as an essential part of your life, not something you earn after burning out.
Practical Tips for Embracing Rest
Ready to take back your time? Here are some actionable ways to incorporate rest into your life:
1. Schedule Downtime: Block off time for rest on your calendar, just like you would for a meeting or appointment.
2. Unplug: Take regular breaks from screens and social media.
3. Practice Saying No: Every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else. Make sure your yeses are worth it.
4. Create Rest Rituals: Find restful activities you enjoy—reading, journaling, taking a walk—and make them part of your routine.
5. Resist the Guilt: Remind yourself that rest isn’t selfish or lazy. It’s necessary.
The Rest Revolution
The world doesn’t need more burnt-out, exhausted people. It needs people who are rested, creative, and ready to make a difference. By rejecting hustle culture and embracing rest, we can create a society that values people over profits, connection over competition, and well-being over busyness.
So here’s your permission slip to rest—not that you needed one. Cancel that extra Zoom meeting. Take a nap. Log off for the weekend. The hustle can wait.
And the next time someone brags about their 80-hour workweek, feel free to call BS. Rest isn’t just radical—it’s revolutionary.
What’s Your Rest Story?
Have you embraced rest in your life? What changes have you noticed? Drop your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear how you’re rewriting the rules on hustle culture.
Stay bold,
Jennifer

February 5, 2025
Stop Telling Me to Smile: Fighting Back Against Everyday Sexism
Every woman knows the phrase. It comes from strangers on the street, coworkers in the office, or even acquaintances who think they’re being “friendly.”
“Smile!”
I was once walking out of a grocery store with my husband when an old man sitting on a bench said “You’d be pretty if you smiled.” I hadn’t even had a chance to process what was said before my husband spat back “She’s pretty all the time.” It’s a seemingly small word with outsized implications—a reminder of the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways women are expected to perform emotional labor, prioritize others’ comfort, and conform to societal expectations of femininity.
But let’s be clear: telling someone to smile is not a compliment. It’s a microaggression that reinforces gender inequality and entitlement. And it’s time we fought back against everyday sexism like this, one unapologetic refusal at a time.
The Problem With “Smile”
At first glance, being told to smile might seem harmless, even well-meaning. So why does it feel so infuriating?
Because it’s not just about the smile—it’s about control.
1. Policing Emotions
When someone tells you to smile, they’re making an assumption about how you should feel or appear. It’s a subtle way of saying, “Your neutral or serious expression doesn’t meet my expectations. Change it.”
This strips women of the autonomy to own their emotions, suggesting that we exist to look cheerful and pleasant, regardless of how we actually feel.
2. Entitlement to Women’s Time and Energy
The demand for a smile implies that women should prioritize making others feel good, even at their own expense. It’s a small but telling example of how society often expects women to perform emotional labor without consent.
3. Reinforcing Gender Roles
The “smile” comment plays into outdated ideas of femininity: women should be soft, nurturing, and approachable at all times. It’s a reminder that we’re still fighting against stereotypes that equate worthiness with compliance.
The Broader Issue of Everyday Sexism
The demand to smile is just one example of the everyday sexism women face. These small, often normalized behaviors—microaggressions—add up over time, creating an environment where gender inequality persists.
Examples of Everyday Sexism
- Interruptions: Being talked over in meetings or conversations.
- Unsolicited Advice: Especially on topics women are already knowledgeable about.
- Appearance Policing: Comments about clothing, hair, or makeup choices.
- Assumptions: Assuming women are less competent in leadership roles or STEM fields.
Everyday sexism may not always be overt, but its cumulative impact is significant, contributing to feelings of frustration, disempowerment, and even burnout.
Why Fighting Back Matters
Pushing back against everyday sexism isn’t just about making a point—it’s about reclaiming our autonomy, self-worth, and voice.
When we challenge these behaviors, we:
- Set Boundaries: Teach others that our time, energy, and emotions are not up for debate.
- Inspire Change: Encourage others to question their own biases and behaviors.
- Empower Ourselves: Remind ourselves that we have the right to exist without explanation or justification.
How to Respond to “Smile” and Other Microaggressions
If you’re tired of being told to smile, here are some ways to respond—whether you want to educate, push back, or simply end the interaction:
1. The Direct Approach
- “No, thank you.”
- “I’ll smile when I feel like it.”
- “Why do you think you have the right to tell me how to feel?”
2. The Educator Approach
- “When you tell women to smile, it can come across as controlling. Please think about how that might feel.”
- “Do you tell men to smile too?”
3. The Deflective Approach
- “Why do you ask?”
- “I’m just enjoying my neutral face today.”
4. The Silent Approach
Sometimes the best response is no response at all. A raised eyebrow or a blank stare can be just as effective as words.
Changing the Narrative
While individual responses are powerful, the fight against everyday sexism is also about shifting cultural norms and expectations.
What We Can Do
- Call It Out: Speak up when you witness microaggressions, whether they’re directed at you or someone else.
- Raise Awareness: Share your experiences and encourage conversations about everyday sexism.
- Support Women: Amplify women’s voices, celebrate their achievements, and stand in solidarity when they face discrimination.
- Challenge Bias: Question stereotypes and assumptions, both in others and within ourselves.
The goal isn’t just to stop being told to smile—it’s to create a world where women are seen and valued for who they are, not how they look or behave.
The Power of Defiance
There’s power in refusing to smile when you don’t feel like it. It’s a small but significant act of defiance, a way to reclaim your autonomy in a society that often tries to take it away.
By saying “no” to the smile command, you’re saying “yes” to your authentic self—and that’s something worth celebrating.
Your Turn
Have you been told to smile, or experienced other forms of everyday sexism? How did you respond? Share your story in the comments, and let’s keep this conversation going.
Stay bold,
Jennifer
January 22, 2025
No More Excuses: How to Own Your Choices Without Apology
Life is a series of choices—big and small—that shape who we are and where we go. Yet, for many of us, the fear of judgment or the pressure to conform can lead us to second-guess our decisions or feel the need to explain them away. The result? A life filled with excuses, apologies, and compromises that chip away at our authenticity.
It’s time to stop.
Owning your choices without apology is a liberating act of self-respect and empowerment. It’s about standing tall in your decisions, understanding your values, and letting go of the need for external validation. This isn’t just about confidence; it’s about reclaiming your life.
Here’s how you can stop making excuses, embrace your choices, and live unapologetically.
1. Understanding Why We Make Excuses
Excuses often come from fear—fear of failure, rejection, or being judged. They’re a way to protect ourselves from discomfort by deflecting responsibility or softening the impact of our choices.
But making excuses keeps us stuck. It sends a message to ourselves (and others) that we’re unsure, uncommitted, or not in control of our lives.
Ask Yourself:
- What am I afraid of?
- Who am I trying to please with this excuse?
- Is this excuse helping or holding me back?
Recognizing the root of your excuses is the first step toward breaking free from them.
2. The Power of Owning Your Choices
Owning your choices doesn’t mean being inflexible or ignoring feedback. It means accepting responsibility for your decisions and standing by them with clarity and confidence.
When you own your choices, you:
- Show others that you trust yourself.
- Build a stronger sense of self-worth.
- Free yourself from the emotional baggage of regret or doubt.
This doesn’t just benefit you; it inspires those around you to step into their power, too.
3. Stop Saying “I’m Sorry” for Things You’re Not Sorry For
Women, in particular, are socialized to over-apologize. We say “I’m sorry” for everything—from declining an invitation to expressing an opinion.
While apologies are valuable when we’ve hurt someone or made a mistake, unnecessary apologies diminish our confidence and reinforce a sense of guilt.
Practice This Instead:
- Replace “I’m sorry” with “Thank you” when appropriate. For example:
- Instead of “Sorry I’m late,” say, “Thank you for waiting.”
- Instead of “I’m sorry for asking,” say, “Thank you for your time.”
- Take a pause before apologizing. Ask yourself: Am I actually at fault?
4. Set Boundaries That Reflect Your Values
Owning your choices often requires setting boundaries. Boundaries are about protecting your energy, time, and values—not about pushing others away.
When you set boundaries, you:
- Show respect for yourself and others.
- Reduce resentment and burnout.
- Create space for what truly matters to you.
How to Set Boundaries Without Apology:
- Be clear and direct. (“I’m unable to take on extra work this week.”)
- Use “I” statements. (“I need time to recharge this weekend.”)
- Stick to your decision without overexplaining.
5. Embrace the “No” Without Guilt
“No” is a complete sentence, but many of us struggle to say it without feeling guilty. We worry about letting others down or appearing selfish.
The truth is, saying “no” is one of the most empowering ways to own your choices. It creates space for you to focus on what aligns with your priorities and values.
How to Say “No” Confidently:
- Be polite but firm. (“Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t commit to that.”)
- Avoid overexplaining. (“No, I’m unable to attend.” Full stop.)
- Remember your “why.” Saying “no” to something that doesn’t serve you means saying “yes” to something that does.
6. Let Go of the Need for Approval
One of the biggest barriers to owning your choices is the desire for external validation. We want others to understand, agree with, or approve of our decisions.
But seeking approval often leads to compromising our values or making choices that aren’t authentic to us.
How to Let Go of Approval-Seeking:
- Accept that not everyone will agree with your choices—and that’s okay.
- Focus on your values and goals rather than others’ opinions.
- Surround yourself with people who respect and support your decisions.
7. Practice Self-Compassion
Owning your choices doesn’t mean you’ll never make mistakes. You will. But mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow, not reasons to beat yourself up.
Self-compassion helps you navigate life’s challenges with grace and resilience.
How to Cultivate Self-Compassion:
- Treat yourself as you would a close friend.
- Replace self-criticism with constructive reflection.
- Celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
8. Reframe Failure as Feedback
Fear of failure often drives excuses and hesitation. But failure is not the opposite of success—it’s part of the journey.
When you reframe failure as feedback, you remove its power to define you. Instead, it becomes a tool for growth.
Ask Yourself After a Failure:
- What worked, and what didn’t?
- What can I do differently next time?
- How has this experience made me stronger?
9. Find Strength in Your Story
Your life is uniquely yours, shaped by your experiences, choices, and challenges. Owning your story—without apology—is one of the most empowering things you can do.
When you stop making excuses for your choices and start embracing your path, you’ll find freedom and confidence like never before.
10. Create a Personal Mantra for Ownership
A mantra is a powerful tool for reinforcing your mindset and intentions. Create one that reflects your commitment to owning your choices.
Examples:
- “I trust myself and my decisions.”
- “My life, my rules.”
- “I owe no one an explanation for being true to myself.”
Repeat your mantra daily to remind yourself of your strength and purpose.
No More Excuses: Start Today
Living unapologetically doesn’t mean being inflexible or dismissive of others—it means being true to yourself. It’s about making choices aligned with your values, embracing the consequences, and moving forward with confidence.
You have the power to stop making excuses, own your choices, and live life on your terms. The question is: Will you take it?
Your Turn
What’s one choice you’ve been hesitant to own? Share it in the comments and let’s support each other in living unapologetically.
Stay bold,
Jennifer

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January 15, 2025
The Myth of ‘Having It All’ and Why It’s Time to Let It Go

Let’s get real, Gen X. We were promised a lot. As the first generation to grow up with “You can have it all!” shoved down our throats, we internalized the idea that success meant juggling a fulfilling career, a happy family, a thriving social life, and a Pinterest-worthy home—all while staying fit, looking fabulous, and saving the world on the side.
Well, spoiler alert: It was a lie. A big, fat, stress-inducing, sleep-depriving lie. If you’ve been trying to live up to this impossible standard, here’s your permission slip to drop the act and reclaim your sanity. Let’s unpack why the myth of “having it all” is toxic, unrealistic, and, frankly, overrated.
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December 4, 2024
How to Spot (and Shut Down) Toxic Behavior in Your Life

Toxic people. We all know them, we’ve all dealt with them, and some of us have probably had the pleasure of sitting next to one at Thanksgiving dinner. Whether it’s the friend who only calls when they need something, the coworker who thrives on drama, or the family member who can’t resist a passive-aggressive comment about your life choices, toxic behavior has a way of seeping in where it’s least wanted.
But fear not, fellow Gen X warriors. We survived latchkey childhoods, questionable 80s fashion, and dial-up internet. We can handle this too. Here’s how to spot toxic behavior (because sometimes it’s sneaky) and, more importantly, how to shut it down without losing your mind.
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November 20, 2024