Defiantly Her

Tag: Self-Respect

  • Stop Apologizing: How to Ditch the Habit of Over-Explaining

    Stop Apologizing: How to Ditch the Habit of Over-Explaining

    When was the last time you apologized for existing? For asking a question, speaking up, or taking up space? If you’re like most women, it was probably this morning. Worse yet, did you feel the need to explain yourself after apologizing? It’s okay; we’ve all been there. But let me tell you—it’s time to stop.

    Why Do We Over-Apologize and Over-Explain?

    As Gen X women, many of us grew up in an era where we were taught to be polite, accommodating, and non-confrontational. We internalized the idea that our worth was tied to how “nice” or “agreeable” we were. While politeness has its place, constantly apologizing and over-explaining diminishes your power, undermines your confidence, and frankly, wastes everyone’s time.

    Every unnecessary apology sends a message: “I don’t deserve to take up space.” You might think you’re just being polite—but what you’re really doing is shrinking yourself for other people’s comfort. Over time, this habit chips away at your self-worth.

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  • How to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Prioritizing Yourself

    How to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Prioritizing Yourself

    Remember when we thought being “nice” was the ultimate virtue? When we internalized that making everyone else happy was somehow our responsibility? Yeah, that’s worked out great, hasn’t it?

    Fellow Gen Xers, we’ve spent decades juggling careers, kids, and aging parents—while still trying to be ‘nice’ and keep everyone happy. And somehow, we became expert people-pleasers, thinking that’s what responsible adults do.

    Wrong. Dead wrong.

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  • The Myth of ‘Having It All’ and Why It’s Time to Let It Go

    The Myth of ‘Having It All’ and Why It’s Time to Let It Go

    Let’s get real, Gen X. We were promised a lot. As the first generation to grow up with “You can have it all!” shoved down our throats, we internalized the idea that success meant juggling a fulfilling career, a happy family, a thriving social life, and a Pinterest-worthy home—all while staying fit, looking fabulous, and saving the world on the side.

    Well, spoiler alert: It was a lie. A big, fat, stress-inducing, sleep-depriving lie. If you’ve been trying to live up to this impossible standard, here’s your permission slip to drop the act and reclaim your sanity. Let’s unpack why the myth of “having it all” is toxic, unrealistic, and, frankly, overrated.

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