Defiantly Her

Tag: Setting Boundaries

  • Stop Apologizing: How to Ditch the Habit of Over-Explaining

    Stop Apologizing: How to Ditch the Habit of Over-Explaining

    When was the last time you apologized for existing? For asking a question, speaking up, or taking up space? If you’re like most women, it was probably this morning. Worse yet, did you feel the need to explain yourself after apologizing? It’s okay; we’ve all been there. But let me tell you—it’s time to stop.

    Why Do We Over-Apologize and Over-Explain?

    As Gen X women, many of us grew up in an era where we were taught to be polite, accommodating, and non-confrontational. We internalized the idea that our worth was tied to how “nice” or “agreeable” we were. While politeness has its place, constantly apologizing and over-explaining diminishes your power, undermines your confidence, and frankly, wastes everyone’s time.

    Every unnecessary apology sends a message: “I don’t deserve to take up space.” You might think you’re just being polite—but what you’re really doing is shrinking yourself for other people’s comfort. Over time, this habit chips away at your self-worth.

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  • How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Like a Villain

    How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Like a Villain

    Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt like the Wicked Witch of the West just for saying no. Spoiler alert: You’re not the villain—you’re just setting boundaries. And if you’re a Gen X woman, chances are you were trained to feel guilty about it.

    Gen X grew up in the gray area between old-school duty and modern independence. We were taught to be resilient, but also to keep the peace. So we learned to do it all—without asking for help, without rocking the boat, and definitely without saying no. Now, as adults, we’re unlearning all of that, one awkward conversation at a time.

    Here’s your no-BS guide to setting boundaries that protect your peace without turning you into the office villain, the friend group grinch, or the family outcast.

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  • How to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Prioritizing Yourself

    How to Stop People-Pleasing and Start Prioritizing Yourself

    Remember when we thought being “nice” was the ultimate virtue? When we internalized that making everyone else happy was somehow our responsibility? Yeah, that’s worked out great, hasn’t it?

    Fellow Gen Xers, we’ve spent decades juggling careers, kids, and aging parents—while still trying to be ‘nice’ and keep everyone happy. And somehow, we became expert people-pleasers, thinking that’s what responsible adults do.

    Wrong. Dead wrong.

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  • How to Spot (and Shut Down) Toxic Behavior in Your Life

    How to Spot (and Shut Down) Toxic Behavior in Your Life

    Toxic people. We all know them, we’ve all dealt with them, and some of us have probably had the pleasure of sitting next to one at Thanksgiving dinner. Whether it’s the friend who only calls when they need something, the coworker who thrives on drama, or the family member who can’t resist a passive-aggressive comment about your life choices, toxic behavior has a way of seeping in where it’s least wanted.

    But fear not, fellow Gen X warriors. We survived latchkey childhoods, questionable 80s fashion, and dial-up internet. We can handle this too. Here’s how to spot toxic behavior (because sometimes it’s sneaky) and, more importantly, how to shut it down without losing your mind.

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